Dear Dad #WilcoWednesday

Welcome to Wilco Wednesday! If you are a new around these parts, “Wilco” is Army-speak for “Will Comply.” Think of it as saying “Roger, God. Got it. Will do.”  So that is what Wednesday here at 7 Days Time is all about– exploring his decrees and seeking guidance for what complying with Him looks like in everyday life. The best part? He loves us for who we are, not what we do.  Remember: He doesn’t want perfection, just obedience.  Joining us today is my dear, wonderful, beautiful and encouraging friend Kristen. Share. Enjoy. Interact. And let’s respond to God’s call with  a hearty “Wilco, Lord!” 
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Dear Dad,

I was at PWOC this morning; we were evacuated – calmly, quietly, quickly, asked to leave. We’d been evacuated for a possible gas leak months ago, but this was different. All was quiet, no sirens. Chaplains and CID descended amid the surprising quiet chaos of a hundred women, mostly mamas waiting for their children to also emerge from the building unharmed.

I knew before I was told; I knew in my gut someone was threatening to take their life. The day, in fact the past week, had seemed to have a shroud of darkness over it. Not literal darkness like Northwest winter is prone to, but spiritual darkness. Besides ruining two desserts I was going to bring that morning I, like so many of the fellow women, had had weeks that just didn’t seem to have gone at all right. Husbands deploying or already gone, kids sick or gone haywire, messing up things we can do with ease; it was in the air.

We all left rather hurriedly trying to get our cars out before the parking lot was shut down, and just all went our separate frustrated ways. All I wanted was to call you; all I wanted was for you to be the man you use to be, a spiritual stronghold, trustworthy, comforter, unselfish. I miss the man you were before you left to choose happiness and self-gratification.

I was grieved at how physically close you actually live to this duty station, but how far from me you’ve truly become in the last three years. Feelings of abandonment and unworthiness bubbled up again over your lack of regret or remorse in effortlessly leaving, assuming your children and your wife would just get over it in time and heal and everything would be sunny again. I was swept with a deep aching and all-consuming pain and I got the smallest glimpse of how the Lord’s heart grieves the selfishness of my heart, my rejection or neglect of Him at times.

Dear DadThe Lord has brought me so much wisdom and empathy for how He grieves the broken and lost in the midst of all this with you. How His heart must ache knowing His words and purpose divide households, that men will know and choose not to believe, they will choose spiritual death over life abundant. As much I yearn for your renewal to Christ and to our family, how much more does our heavenly Father desire it?

It is a continual surrender to the Lord for me not to reach out to you, not to try do something, anything to drag you kicking and screaming back to the light. I struggled with how to ‘Honor thy father’ while knowing my words and rebuttals fell on deaf ears. I prayerful laid down any control I thought I had at the foot of the cross.

Many friends look on days like today and the deep struggle of life and desperately wish for the second coming of the Lord and for this to be done. All the while I selfishly wish the opposite no matter how bad it gets. I wish for the days to be long enough that you come home to the Lord. I find great power and strength in not forgetting that “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:8-9) I am so grateful the Lords ways are not mine and are above mine. I miss you dad.

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My dad left my mother after 30 years of marriage and us three grown children and remarried another woman almost three years ago. I have since filled a book with letters to him, not all kind hearted in the beginning. God has solidified His place as my father, and reminds me how we, as His children, can choose joy and hope amid suffering in this life.

Friends, how does this testimony stir you? Comment below.

“I heard and my heart pounded, my lips quivered at the sound; decay crept into my bones and my legs trembled. Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity to come on the nation invading us. Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in my God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.” (Habakkuk 3:16-19)

 kristenclarkeKristen Clarke is an army wife, servant-less american cook and baker, avid coffee drinker and dark chocolate consumer, natural born Washingtonian, historical fiction reader, lover of travel, small craft/sewing business owner and homemaker.

 

Linking up today with my friend Kristin over at Three-word Wednesday and having a little Coffee for your Heart with Holley.  Oh! And be sure to join our #EverydayJesus link-up community right here at 7 Days Time every Thursday!

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Comments

  1. Dear Kristen,
    Wow what a letter, and thank you for sharing it with us. I am sorry about your dad, but so very glad you have God as your Father. I love that He never leaves us or gives up on us. I lost my father when I was 10 so didn’t really know him, but I like you have the same Father, guess that makes us sisters. So my sister have a wonderful day and bask in our Father’s love.
    Maggie recently posted…Are They Gone?My Profile

    • Your encouragement is beautiful, Maggie. Sorry about the loss of your father at such and early age, but I DO praise the Lord for “adopting” all of us, which makes us heirs of this throne. (How cool is that?!)

  2. Linda Largent says:

    Thank you for sharing! We have a family in our church whose husband left his wife, three amazing sons and his Lord and Savior behind. I can see the pain in those sweet little boys’ eyes; not understanding why Daddy moved out and left them and their mama. My heart aches for them. I know this is a process their will all have to go through but I want them to feel better NOW! Knowing in my heart this will not be the case, I do pray for our heavenly father to fill their empty hearts with peace, love, forgiveness and happiness.

    • That is so hard, Linda. Praying that God is mightily and powerfully at work in that situation. I will be praying. Thanks for sharing here.

  3. Words are powerful vessels for healing. Broken relationships are so painful. But I’m grateful that God still offers hope. Thanks for sharing at #ThreeWordWednesday.
    Kristin Hill Taylor recently posted…Three Word Wednesday :: And follow meMy Profile

    • Amen, Kristin! I am so grateful for Kristen’s courage to share here– and how she is inspiring us all. Thanks for hosting and stopping by!

  4. Thank you for sharing transparently! So many women share with me that it’s hard to know and trust God as a Father because of hurts in this life in family relationships. Those hurts can be healed, but not if buried – you give them to Jesus, the Light, when you speak them. I pray your words will connect to the heart of other women who need the love of a perfect father, who never have known one on this earth, or who have known pain where there should have been love, comfort., safety. I pray full reconciliation and I’m inspired by your brave little heart. 🙂

    • Thanks for your encouraging and affirming words, Carri… I applaud Kristen’s courage as well– and praise God for how He is working all things for good in her life!